And, one more thing...

In my haste to put up this review this morning, I forgot one of the most impactful points Conghlin made.  One of her "Ten Commandments of Hospitality" is:

Don't apologize.  It's OK to make mistakes.  Learn not to bring them up in front of your guests.  It makes them uncomfortable and robs them of relaxation. 

Would you be more comfortable if your host apologized profusely over a dry Thanksgiving turkey, or simply ignored it and allowed everyone to continue to enjoy the meal? Apologizing is not about making the guests in our homes feel more comfortable.  Rather, it is us trying to make ourselves look better.  "Really, I do know how to cook a turkey - I don't know how this one ended up so dry!"

How often when we bring someone into our home on short notice do we say, "I'm sorry - my house is kind of a mess right now"?  I say it all the time.  What I really mean is "I wish I'd had time to straighten up a little more like I do when I know someone is coming.  So I can give you the impression that the house usually looks cleaner than this."  But it really doesn't.  I've heard that "I'm sorry my house is a mess" apology so many times when I've come into someone's home, and not once have I seen a mess that has really bothered me.  I suppose if someone's house looked like those homes you see on those shows about hoarders, with things piled up to the ceiling so you can't walk, I might have a problem.  But, most of the time, people's houses just look lived-in.   

Coughlin's point is that true, gracious hospitality only happens when we are willing to let our guard down and let people come in and be a part of our authentic, day-to-day lives.  Focusing our effort on others and making hospitality about meeting their needs, and not impressing them with how neat and tidy our homes are, or how great our cooking is - well, that is the first step.

Sojourner.

P.S.  I'm sorry I forgot to post this with the first part of the review.  ;-)